Bertie Wooster (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tinkertytonk) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mylittlelogs2014-08-22 07:50 pm
tinkertytonk) wrote in mylittlelogs2014-08-22 07:50 pm
Now's the Time to Rouse Yourself
Who: Bertie and Vergil
What: Sorting through things from the Crystal Empire, talking about sexuality, and probably some pre-Pollo soul-diving jitters.
Where: Vergil's Cave
When: The evening of Pinkie Pie's slumber party
Warnings: Probably some internalized homophobia and possibly allusions to violence.
Prose or Commentspam: Prose
While Bertie's still more than a little annoyed that Don had given him that drink to make him pass out for almost a full day, Bertie must admit that he's feeling rested and that's helped considerably with his anxiousness. Having a plan for how to address Pollo (well, most of the plan), being in Vergil's cave, and sorting through all the presents he needs to give out are also helping. He's not completely relaxed, but he's doing better than he has been in several days.
He finds the handsome belt he'd purchased for his roommate amongst everything and decides waiting would just be silly to hand it over to the dragon. Bertie heads over to the dragon. "What ho, old boy." The greeting is a little less lively than his usual, but Bertie pulls on a smile, anyway. "I saw this and thought it might suit you... well, in so much as a fellow who doesn't wear trousers needs a belt, you know?"
What: Sorting through things from the Crystal Empire, talking about sexuality, and probably some pre-Pollo soul-diving jitters.
Where: Vergil's Cave
When: The evening of Pinkie Pie's slumber party
Warnings: Probably some internalized homophobia and possibly allusions to violence.
Prose or Commentspam: Prose
While Bertie's still more than a little annoyed that Don had given him that drink to make him pass out for almost a full day, Bertie must admit that he's feeling rested and that's helped considerably with his anxiousness. Having a plan for how to address Pollo (well, most of the plan), being in Vergil's cave, and sorting through all the presents he needs to give out are also helping. He's not completely relaxed, but he's doing better than he has been in several days.
He finds the handsome belt he'd purchased for his roommate amongst everything and decides waiting would just be silly to hand it over to the dragon. Bertie heads over to the dragon. "What ho, old boy." The greeting is a little less lively than his usual, but Bertie pulls on a smile, anyway. "I saw this and thought it might suit you... well, in so much as a fellow who doesn't wear trousers needs a belt, you know?"
no subject
Being in the presence of a former tormentor is something he can understand greatly. He was about to face Mundus, after all.
When he's presented with the belt, his eyes widen a bit. Not only is it a stunning piece of leather work, it fits him to the letter -- it goes with the color scheme he usually keeps (blue and gold, with a hint of brown leather), as well as his appreciation for attention to detail. In his battle attire, there were small details everywhere, from the kimono silk that lined his coat to the embroidery on his boots. This is a perfect addition to his wardrobe, and the fact that Bertie knew him well enough to pick it out kind of floored him.
It's rare to make Vergil speechless and genuinely surprised, but you've done it, Bertie!
After a moment, he finally pipes up.
"Wow. Thank you, Bertie -- I don't know what to say. It's perfect," he says as he tries it on. And of course it fits wonderfully, since he was scaled down to help with Bertie's bags.
Vergil is still kind of sucky at interpersonal relationships, so gratitude is something he always feels a little awkward with, but it's obvious he sincerely likes it.
"I'll wear it proudly."
Which is probably one of the highest compliments you can get from Vergil.
"Between this and the sword you got for Flare Star, I'm inclined to believe that you're just naturally good at this kind of thing. Did you pick up gifts for anyone else?"
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"Anyway, water under the bridge, and its a solid thing for tossing, what? There's a bowtie for Harvey. I think I might ask Dame Rarity to take off a few of the gems before I give that to him. It does sparkle a bit much for a chap up on a stage. He might blind half the audience! Ms. Gwen helped me pick out this... fish thingummy for the commune. I think it's some sort of serving dish." His features softens when he pulls out the next item. "I don't know that Dante's much for any sort of jewelry, but the beazel selling these"- the gem in the sword is bright blue like the dragon's eyes -"said they'll ward against most of the ghouls and grim things in Equestria. No promises for monsters from our universes.
"This one is for Nephenee. She's rather fond of blue, you know? Hayate helped me sort that out. The shopgirl ran something of a bargain with it, too. I got Hayate a pendant, along with it. And a hat for her..." he trails off, very suddenly aware what he's about to say. "Ah, well, um. Th-that is. It was just a sort of... love's a funny thing, isn't it?" It only once he's babbled his way through that awkwardness that he realizes he could have just said 'date' and let Vergil assume it was with another stallion rather than a mare. His face feels like it's burning up. Vergil doesn't seem like a fellow who would really mind that sort of thing, but it's still horribly awkward. Mares with mares. Colts with colts.
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Tricksy's statue gets an interested gaze, though he has to hold back a laugh that it was cursed. Poor Bertie. For some reason, though, the fact that he ended up with a cursed statue for a ghost is both appropriate and hilariously adorable.
"I bet Tricksy is going to be very happy about that, since I usually frown on my things being thrown around. It's a great idea to start getting things specifically to be thrown around, too! I know it must be hard to have to repress that, being a poltergeist and all."
Once the bowtie is shown, he seems to approve of it as well. "I think it's good, though -- especially for a showman. Some of them prefer to have a bit of sparkle up on stage, since it makes them stand out a bit more."
The fish 'thingummy' is interesting, too. "I was about to ask if it was a candy dish or something. I'd like to see what the commune ends up serving in it."
When he sees the look on Bertie's face as he speaks of Dante, a lightbulb kind of goes off. Wait, does Bertie like Dante? As in, like like? That look might suggest it, as would the fact that the gem matches his brother's eyes nearly exactly.
His own features soften very subtly, as he finds the thought put into that gift so endearing. Vergil is usually exasperated by Dante's flirting ways, of course -- part of being his brother is being ever-embarrassed by some of the things he does -- but if he were to end up with someone like Bertie, that's something Vergil would whole-heartedly support.
"I'm sure he'll love it," he says genuinely. "I can definitely see how it would ward things off, too. This is an exceptional find, Bertie."
His praise is sincere, as he notices the blade is made of some sort of crystal -- quartz, maybe, if he had to guess -- which actually is known to dispel negative or evil energy. It's kind of brilliant, if he's honest.
Nephenee's necklace is lovely, too. Blue is his favorite color as well, and if he were prone to wearing necklaces other than his amulet, he'd even wear something like that. "Wow, that glasswork is amazing. I think she'll really like this."
Of course, when Bertie starts seeming at a loss for words, it's not hard to pick up on the fact that he's clearly distressed about something.
It takes him a second, but he narrows it down to two possibilities: either Bertie has feelings for Hayate, who is with someone else -- a theory that is pretty instantly discredited by the look he gave before revealing Dante's gift -- or Hayate is a lesbian.
"...girlfriend?" he guesses.
no subject
His eyes are on Vergil's claws, wondering if the dragon's seen any of his admissions. He's tried to keep them close to the vest, certainly, and buried beneath a lot of chatter. Not that he needs to. It's... Equestria. The stallion still can't shake the feeling that it's all frightfully unnatural and wrong, though. At least... at least if it's him. If it's somepony else, that's all right, isn't it?
"That-that is to say, um... she was looking to step out with somepony of the"- he braces himself -"gentler sex. They aren't... don't think they're, well, you know? B-but it's all right for her if she is!" It's half-challenge, half-question. He doesn't particularly want to fight Vergil, but Hayate is his friend - his sister now, apparently. A fellow has to count that for something in standing up.
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Instead of seeming upset, he just smiles.
"It is," he assures simply. His voice is calm; almost soothing.
"There's nothing wrong with her having a girlfriend, if she does. Life's too short to do anything other than what makes you happy, and if she's happy with another woman, that's wonderful for her."
As far as Bertie, Vergil has heard a few things from him that might suggest he may be harboring some homosexual thoughts or inclinations himself -- after all, he did see the huge exchange on the scrolls after he first got here between Bertie, Cecil and the rest. He just didn't comment because at the time, there was nothing to say that would be heard. Emotions were running too high, and the likelihood that anyone would listen to reason would have been slim. There was also the fact that he and Bertie didn't know one another then, and he doesn't exactly make it a point to include himself in the affairs of strangers.
Strangely, then, he hadn't been vexed by Bertie. It's not like he's completely immune, since he's been vexed by more than a few people since, but there was just something about Bertie that didn't rub him the wrong way.
In fact, because he wasn't particularly offended by what the pegasus was saying, he was able to pay close attention to the way he said things. That alone made it clear that the motivation behind his words wasn't any form of concerted malice -- he'd just been conditioned to think that way.
If anyone knows what that's like, it's Vergil.
Now, though, if something similar were to happen, Vergil would be among the first to speak up on Bertie's behalf.
no subject
Why would Vergil think anything awful about it? He's a progressive sort of Johnnie. Bertie can't shake the sense that the dragon should be more upset, though. Certainly, there's reason enough to take umbrage with a young lady throwing in her lot with another young lady. Not very good reasons, he's come to realize, but reasons. He's still mildly concerned about the souls of his pals who are that way inclined, but with the Pale Pony snatching them up without a divine intervention, yet... Bertie isn't certain what to think anymore on that score.
There's a longish pause where Bertie considers why Vergil might be so progressive. He hasn't heard the dragon carrying on about girls, nor has Bertie seen him courting any. "I, um..." how to come around to the question? "I-I don't suppose that sort of thing makes you happy, old bean?" The tension returns. He's overstepping himself. "N-not that I'm saying you seem like the sort. Well, I mean, of course you've got to be the sort to find happiness now and again, the regular draconic joie de vivre! One hardly needs a fellow hanging on the scaled arm for that sort of thing, does he? Or a girl. Do you like girls?"
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He seems mildly surprised at the question, but he can see where he would think so. He doesn't really discuss liking anyone, and if he gets attention from women, he's usually very direct in informing them that they would do better to direct their affections elsewhere. He isn't emotionally equipped for a relationship at all at this point, and he's never been propositioned by another man, so he's never really thought about it.
There's a moment where he seems to consider the question.
"It's not something I've really thought of, to be honest," he replies.
How can you not, though? Especially at his age, one assumes you've at least had an inclination one way or another. He figures he should explain that.
"I'm not sure if he's told you, but Dante and I were separated when we were young. He was left in the human world, and I was taken to the demon world, where it's pretty much understood that you can't trust anyone without expecting it to be used against you. Because of that, I've been conditioned to not trust others easily, which means that I can't even fathom the idea of me, personally, being in a relationship with anyone at this point. That's why I usually turn down advances, because I don't want to lead anyone on in the hopes that maybe someday I'll return their feelings, because I highly doubt that will happen."
Despite the subject matter, he speaks very matter-of-factly. He's clearly not upset about anything -- the subject, his responses, or even that Bertie asked at all. It's just an honest conversation.
"But if I think about it, I don't think I'm inclined toward women. I've never considered men before -- likely because none have ever expressed any interest -- but I get the feeling that I would have an easier time adjusting to a relationship with a man than a woman."
So, Vergil has learned a thing about himself today!
"Of course, considering the fact that I'm only now starting to be okay with the very idea of caring about other people on a friendship level -- something you've helped a lot with, actually -- I think it will still be a while before I have to deal with that."
This might seem like a sad statement to anyone else, but Vergil seems genuinely alright with it. Maybe even a little relieved by it.
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"It's predicted, self-inflicted," he mutters, the whisper of a tune echoing around the cavern. The pegasus manages to hold off from breaking into song, though. He's focused more on what Vergil's said about his own experiences. And... has he just admitted he might be an invert?
"I'm awfully glad to help there, old top." At least he can offer that honestly. Seeing the dragon become slightly more social and - 'jovial' isn't exactly the right word - relaxed in the past months has been a reward in and of itself for moving into Vergil's cave.
"I..." he braces himself to admit to it. "I'm sort of, erm... of uranian disposish as Jeeves put it. My valet, Jeeves. He- we were..." The stallion paws at the ground a moment. "I rather fancied him, but he's been gone now. I think... I think he's really the only ever fellow who understood my- well, it's just not the done thing when I'm from, you understand?
"Everypony else here is frightfully progressive, aren't they?"
Wow I am a snail, I am so sorry
It's really been invaluable, his time with Bertie. They're relatively opposite in most respects, but the pegasus is genuinely endearing, and it's slowly but surely chipping away at Vergil's own conditioning to not get too close to people.
He gives a sympathetic look as though to say he's sorry for Jeeves' departure, but he's overall understanding of Bertie's hesitation. In all honesty, he's incredibly proud of him for being able to say it out loud. He's come a long way since Vergil has known him, too.
"I do, actually," he admits when asked if he understands. "I saw a lot of similar situations during my stay in the human world."
When the notion of being progressive arises, he seems to consider it for a moment.
"I think so, but it seems like a lot of that has to do with time periods. Society has changed a lot over the years. People are always evolving; gaining a better understanding of the world around them. As a result, things that once seemed scary or unnatural are much more common. But that's only the case where most of the people here come from. Being from a time where so many of those restraints were still in place must really be difficult."
That's not a sarcastic or condescending remark, either. He's actually making an effort to see things from Bertie's point of view.
"From what I've gathered, a lot of those restrictions come from religion. Not to pry, but where you're from, were you raised to be religious?"
It's only after he asks that he realizes how personal that question actually is.
"Of course you don't have to answer if it's an uncomfortable question. I know it's a touchy subject for a lot of people, but taking an objective look at that may help you feel a little bit better about all this."
No worries!
"I'm Christian. Or... I suppose I was, anyway. I've had religion in my life ever since I can remember. Reverend Upjohn ran the Malvern House - that's the first boarding school I went to. There was always prayer at every meal and church on Sundays. Eton was more of the same. Lagged off a bit in college, but a fellow does like to keep up appearances. I got around to the chapel on Sundays there, as well. I don't suppose I practiced much before coming here, but it's what I was raised with and most of the commandments seemed all right. Don't murder people and all that. I mean, the stealing one is a bit harsh when you're just looking to have some fun or you're doing it for a good cause." That cause being 'not earning Aunt Dahlia's ire forever.' It's a jolly good one in Bertie's book!
"I guess all of that nonsense is still caught up in my head, though. I never really knew it was knocking about like it was until I came here." The pegasus sighs. "If I could drag all of it out and shove it off a cliff, I'd be bally well set. I just worry about... I don't want anyone to go to Hell, least of all any fellows I might be fond of."
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Vergil listens intently to Bertie recount his past with religion. Well, that would definitely explain a lot of the pegasus' trouble.
While Vergil doesn't exactly consider himself native to the human world, he has spent a fair amount of time stuck there -- most of which included many late nights reading or watching documentaries. As such, he's come to understand a lot about the history of the human world, and a lot about religion.
Still, he gives a little smile to hear his roommate speak of not realizing it was as bad as it was, and wanting nothing more than to be rid of it. He's proud of you, Bertie. The fact that you're open-minded enough to realize that change is even an option makes it even harder to believe how much grief you get from people.
"It's a tricky thing, especially when it was so heavily ingrained into your upbringing. Something like that can't be changed overnight, no matter how much you want it to be."
Which is another thing he doesn't get about people's problems with Bertie, when he's heard of them. Equestria is supposed to be this magical land of friendship and tolerance, but some ponies can't seem to fathom the idea that literally changing everything you believe in isn't something that can be done on a whim. As someone that's trying to do something similar, he gets it.
"I'm not sure whether or not this will help, but during the time I was gone, I was able to learn a lot about the world that I'm from. While our Gods were different, it seems like religion was handled very much the same. The main principles were solid ideas for humans to strive for: Don't murder anyone, treat others as you would want to be treated, look out for the less fortunate and those close to you. But there was a point where it began to deviate. Supposedly, their Savior was merciful, yet extreme and demanding."
"I don't think I would have questioned it beyond pointing out basic flaws in logic if one of the Saviors that was preached about hadn't been my father. It's one thing to hear these contradictions supposedly come from a person you've never met, but I knew my father very well before he disappeared, and he wasn't anything like the idol that Fortuna's clergy was using to scare innocent people. Sparda was never vengeful toward humans -- in fact, he would go out of his way to not be, because he felt like they'd suffered enough -- yet there are countless instances of these people saying that he would strike down anyone that went against his will."
Which was ludicrous at best, considering the fact that Dante made it his life's mission from day one to be the most rebellious thing ever, but Sparda loved him just as he was. He wasn't a saint, and sure he got upset from time to time, but he was never that extreme. Even with strangers, he would always hold himself back from losing too much of his temper, unless they were actually threatening the lives of innocent people.
"After that, I started looking into it. It turns out that, while translating holy texts, the officials of the church omitted and added things to fit their view of the world, rather than the exact views of my father."
It doesn't help that Fortuna's current equivalent to the Pope was an actual crazy person, so it's not a far cry to believe that there were others like him around the time that those texts would have been written.
"I don't know if that also happened in your world, but it might explain some of the stance on homosexuality. When those books were written, so much of the world and its people hadn't been explored yet, so everything that went against what was understood was deemed immoral. Humans are conditioned to be straight because that's how they procreate and further the species. It would make sense that someone that's never had an inclination toward their own gender wouldn't be able to fathom it, and it's easier to shun and fear things that seem strange than it is to try to understand them."
Of course, this was centuries ago, when mass hysteria was relatively common.
"By the time people realized that being gay is normal, it had become so ingrained into religion that it caused unimaginable distress among people that sincerely felt a connection to that particular God, but also happened to be gay."
There's a pause before he speaks again.
"Would it ease your mind to know that there is a way to keep your faith, without losing who you are? There are certain churches that practice the teachings of the same God, without judgment of anything that isn't directly hurting you or someone else. Some of them accept the idea of homosexuality readily, while others don't really approve, but they're accepting of you as a person."
Which is still better than the alternative, all things considered.
"And for whatever it's worth, I spent about a decade in literal Hell, but I've never come across anyone that was sent there just for being attracted to a member of the same sex. Even though our worlds are different, I'd feel confident in saying that I don't think that's enough to get you in Hell anywhere."
"Besides, you're a good person. You try your best to help others out when they need it, and even though you've got road blocks in your way, you sincerely have others' best interest at heart. Any God that wouldn't accept you isn't worthy of worship in the first place."
Since that was supposed to be like, the main idea of most religions: Just be cool, man.
Despite the fact that they're kind words, he says them very matter-of-factly. It isn't something that's said with an overt sense of sentiment, but rather an objective assessment. As someone that's never been known for sparing the feelings of others, it's a testament to what he actually thinks of Bertie.
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That Vergil's world - that the future - holds a place where fancying a chap isn't grounds enough to cast you from the flock and into prison or asylum is an immense relief. He'd known it wasn't illegal in some of the futures people are from, but that it might be accepted by religion is more the relief.
If god's said it's really all right and people were just misunderstanding...
For all the frankness in the conversation, Bertie does feel his cheeks coloring. This isn't something one usually chats about idly with a chum. Certainly not a stolid fellow like Vergil. But here they are!
"It... it does help." Bertie nods, offering the dragon a small smile. "It helps rather a lot, actually. It's really all right, though? In the future the chappies with black suits and white collars won't beat you 'round the lemon with a copy of old Gideon's best? Hah..." In all of that, though, there'd been something else to spark his interest.
"But what's this about your father? He had a religion?"
no subject
Because he's seen so much, he has a hard time putting his faith into anything but himself, but if Bertie can still find faith in something -- even if it's a God whose words have been twisted six ways from Sunday -- he deserves to be able to keep it.
Bertie actually reminds him a lot of Dante, if he really thinks about it. They've both done things that have rubbed people the wrong way (though Dante is usually doing so on purpose), but past all that, they're both genuinely good people. They're people that shouldn't have to worry for their souls, because they spend so much time doing what every religion, at it's core, teaches: To leave the world a better place than when you found it.
While he still isn't sure what kind of person he himself is, he knows he's not like Dante. He's disciplined, and people can learn from that, but at his core, he's not a role model. He doesn't care about people the way his brother does. Dante has something that Vergil can't even fathom anymore: humanity. It's the same thing that made Sparda so powerful, and it's the same thing that makes Dante someone that Equestrians as a whole can look up to. While Vergil knows that he won't even come close to Sparda's power without that, it's more than just a little difficult to change who you are at your core. He's done well enough to adapt here in terms of being personable enough to find steady work and helpful enough to get by, but there's a wall he's built up that he can't break through so easily -- especially considering the fact that that wall is the only reason he's still alive to begin with.
"It really is," he assures, laughing a little at the mental image. "Don't get me wrong, there will always be those kinds, but at least in the future, they're not the only ones that preach. If you know where to look, you can find people that take the main idea of the scripture and focus on it, rather than magnifying ridiculous and outdated side-rules."
He seems to be a bit surprised by the question.
"Yeah, he did. Dante didn't tell you?"
Well, okay, in retrospect, that's probably not surprising. Dante doesn't like to talk about their dad much at all, and for good reason.
"The abridged version is that 2000 years ago, our world was overrun with demons. Mundus lead the invasion, and because humans were powerless against demons, no one could stop him. It wasn't until Sparda realized how unjust it was that things began to change. Because he was the demon world's most powerful swordsman, he alone defeated Mundus, sealing him in a marble statue. After that, Mundus' armies fled back to the demon world, and Sparda used a spell to seal the hellgates once and for all so that humans could live peacefully, without demonic interference."
He almost sounds like he's summarizing a book he's read a hundred times -- which he pretty much is. You can't go anywhere in the human world without being reminded of Sparda, and the demon world is infamous for its grudge against him.
"In doing so, he gave up a majority of his power. Years later, he returned to the human world, where he lived quietly and preserved harmony. Because of that, there are people who worship him as The Savior. There are cathedrals with massive statues devoted to him that preach what is supposedly his word. In our world, he's the standard of absolute power, as well as the definition of justice."
"Unfortunately, that also means that he left us with a legacy to fulfill. When we were younger, Dante held a lot of resentment toward our father for that legacy. Whether or not that's still true, I can't say, but I do know he's a lot less likely to discuss the subject than I am."
Because, you know, he's the one that's spent most of his life actively trying to be as powerful as his father was. He wears being Sparda's son as a badge of honor -- to the point that the design on his coat is the same one that circles Yamato at its hilt, just before the guard.
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"It never bothered you, though," he says thoughtfully. "How did you and Dante turn out so differently, old thing? You're twins, right? But he- well, before you got here, he did tell me a bit about having to have at you when there was a spot of bother with that Mundus character."
Or something to that effect. It's a bit hard to keep straight for him, really.
no subject
"We've always been more or less the exact opposites of each other. Even when we were kids, I was more organized and disciplined, while he was wild and reckless. The differences weren't always as severe as they are now, though."
Meaning that Dante is kind and compassionate, whereas Vergil is more or less detached.
"How much do you know about why he and I were separated?"
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Although the image of Dante running around here as a younger version of himself is pretty hilarious.
Still, Vergil makes himself comfortable and starts the story.
"You see, our father disappeared when we were young. To this day, I don't think either one of us knows where he went. At the time, I didn't know why, but now that I'm older, I suspect he knew that the demons would come after him. I think he was worried for us, so he wanted to put as much distance as he could between us and himself, thinking that any threats to his life would follow him."
"Unfortunately, he was wrong. One day, shortly after our eighth birthday, we were ambushed by a horde of demons sent by Mundus. They killed our mother and kidnapped me, taking me back to the demon world."
"I don't know about what happened to Dante after that. All I know is that I was told that he was dead. Whether that had been true at some point, or just something that was said to manipulate me, I still don't know. All I know is that I believed it. How could I not? I saw what they did to my mother -- in horrible detail -- and I couldn't feel his presence anymore."
Though he started out relatively detached, remembering that seems to cause some sort of feeling, distant though it seems. He's not visibly upset, but something definitely changed in his eyes. It's like even though he's looking at a nearby table, he's not seeing it.
"What made it worse was the implication that I could have saved them all if I had been stronger."
He's so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn't realize that's the first time he's told anyone that.
"Knowing that my weakness cost my family their lives sent me on a quest for power -- power that I could use to defeat Mundus once and for all. Thinking that I was the last heir to Sparda's legacy was what drove me, and I spent years concentrating only on getting stronger. I crossed many levels of the demon world, fighting my way past things ten times my size and a hundred times my age."
"For almost a decade, that's all I did. It wasn't until I was around 18 that I discovered where Force Edge -- my father's sword -- was sealed away. I knew that in order to fight Mundus, I'd need that sword, so I set out to obtain it. The only problem was, the directions to do so were written in a language even I couldn't understand. Because of that, I enlisted the help of a man named Arkham. He was a human that had become a demon, and he could read the texts that I couldn't."
Although honestly, the less said about that guy's personality, the better.
"In order to open the gateway to the place where Force Edge was being held, both halves of the Perfect Amulet were necessary. I had my half, so we just needed to find Dante's. That's how I discovered he was alive."
Which is something that he says with a barely audible edge of relief.
"But by that time, I was already so far detached that it didn't really hit me the way it should have. Being in the demon world takes a lot from you. You lose your sense of humanity very quickly, and killing becomes your way of getting through obstacles, because that's the only thing that's understood down there. Trying to reason with anyone leads to either manipulation or betrayal."
Both of which are things he's dealt with first-hand.
"Things like remorse and concern are erased quickly as well. Demons don't value life the way humans do."
Which is all he can say about that without the possibility of legitimately unnerving Bertie with details about what it took to get to Force Edge, and the number of casualties that whole event racked up.
"But there is one life I will always value. Even if I couldn't feel things the way I used to, somewhere along the line, I saw a second mission: Dante was underdeveloped as a demon. He hadn't even learned to Devil Trigger yet. I suppose he wanted nothing to do with his demonic side, which would be understandable if we weren't...who we are. I knew there was no room for him to ignore it any longer, since opening the gate to Sparda's power would have gained Mundus' attention. If, for some reason, I didn't make it back from fighting Mundus, Dante would need that power to take care of himself. So while I was mainly intent on obtaining Force Edge, I also had to awaken the devil inside Dante to make sure he was prepared for anything."
Which had been a much more taxing mission than he expected it to be, given the circumstances necessary to awaken someone's Devil Trigger.
"Where I'm from, I was taken from the battlefield before I could fight Mundus, but I was recently made aware of the fact that there is a timeline where I did fight him, and I lost in the worst way possible. From what I'm to understand, I wasn't killed outright -- instead, I was used as a puppet. I'm assuming that the 'spot of bother' you mentioned before was the part where I was controlled by Mundus and used to fight Dante. From what I read, and from what he's said without speaking, Dante had to kill me. Which, if the information I got from that book is true, would have been the best thing he could have done for me. I don't know exactly what happened during that time, but if it was still me, I would have wanted to be freed from that shell. Still, I can understand why that would make him not want to discuss much of his past, or me at all before I showed up."
"So to put it simply, the differences between us are mostly a product of our upbringing in different worlds. I spent many formative years around demons that taught me to be concerned mostly for myself, while Dante spent his in a place where it helped to be concerned mostly for others."
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"You were only eight," he says once he can collect his thoughts enough for coherency. "You were only eight and they made you believe it was your fault?" The pegasus shakes his head, staring down at this own hooves for a moment. He knows the 'logic' of a child all too well in these matters, unfortunately. Six is a very young age, indeed, to become an orphan, and he'd wrestled with himself for month, trying to sort out what he could do - could have done - better to undo the car crash that had killed his parents. But this, this had to be a hundred times worse.
"Vergil, I'm so sorry." Bertie's expression and tone are empathetic rather than pitying. "I don't... golly, I don't even know what to say, old thing. Eight. And then those blighters dragged you into hell." But more to the point... "And you survived. Dear God, you've got to be one of the most extraordinary fellows I know." He's looking up to meet Vergil's eye now.